(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

 
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Cynical Definitions

n. The most highly evolved of animals that display the most poorly evolved forms of behavior.

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Cynical Quotations

The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more.

— Woody Allen

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Everyone is as God has made him, and oftentimes a great deal worse.

— Miguel de Cervantes

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In heaven all the interesting people are missing.

— Friedrich Nietzsche

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Actors are the opposite of people.

— Tom Stoppard

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People shouldn't be treated like objects. They aren't that valuable.

— P.J. O'Rourke

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To predict the behavior of ordinary people in advance, you only have to assume that they will always try to escape a disagreeable situation with the smallest possible expenditure of intelligence.

— Friedrich Nietzsche

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