cynic, n. And
evangelist in the Church of Reality.
Smith is in the annals of cynicism. Or it that
anals. Hard to tell with him.
Aside from being the despicable and socially
unacceptable editor of the Cynical Web Site, Smith is a
renowned writer, songwriter and political provocateur
(well, he is renown in his living room, which is oddly
inhabited by Guy and a few other surviving insects).
Smith's writing is seldom referred to, but has been
called "A tragic collision between Kinky Friedman and
P.J. O'Rourke, with Joseph Heller reading the eulogy."
Most of Smith's pithier and slimier quotes ooze with
insights that only a deacon in the Church of Discount Worship could possibly put
Though Smith's origins are not well known, he has
managed to infest the globe at points as far flung as
Florida, Virginia, California and allegedly a small
prison colony in the Philippines, though the only source
for that last location is one of Smith's ex-wives.
Let's hope he gets writer's cramp. Until then,
suffer with these top Guy Smith cynicisms.
All parents see their children as perfect, at least until the teen years. This delusion is God's system for keeping parents from selling the little vermin off for medical experimentation.
Women are often referred to as the 'gentle' sex. I believe this adjective describes the sweetly undetectable method in which women insert a knife in a man's back.
To be abnormal is to be different from the majority and thus to evoke fear and loathing in said majority. To be intelligent amoung the ignorant, to be polite in New York, or to be Republican in San Francisco.
God invented sex and we give praise to him at every orgasm by shouting "Oh, my God".
It has been said that we joke about those that we truly love. This is bunk, for there is no book thicker than the book of lawyer jokes.
If sex is original sin, Murphyisms are original cynicism.
I so enjoy seeing young lovers smooching in public. Not only does it fill the heart with warm and sentimental feelings, but I'm comforted in the knowledge that the ship of their affections will soon sink on the rock shores of reality, or sucked forever downward in the maelstrom of marriage.
We seldom become the people we want to be, but we always become the people that we try to be.
There are only three crimes in the world – all others are variants of these. There is the crime of thinking wrong, the crime of being stupid and the crime of driving with your head up your arse.