cynic, n. And
evangelist in the Church of Reality.
Smith is in the annals of cynicism. Or it that
anals. Hard to tell with him.
Aside from being the despicable and socially
unacceptable editor of the Cynical Web Site, Smith is a
renowned writer, songwriter and political provocateur
(well, he is renown in his living room, which is oddly
inhabited by Guy and a few other surviving insects).
Smith's writing is seldom referred to, but has been
called "A tragic collision between Kinky Friedman and
P.J. O'Rourke, with Joseph Heller reading the eulogy."
Most of Smith's pithier and slimier quotes ooze with
insights that only a deacon in the Church of Discount Worship could possibly put
Though Smith's origins are not well known, he has
managed to infest the globe at points as far flung as
Florida, Virginia, California and allegedly a small
prison colony in the Philippines, though the only source
for that last location is one of Smith's ex-wives.
Let's hope he gets writer's cramp. Until then,
suffer with these top Guy Smith cynicisms.
There are only three crimes in the world – all others are variants of these. There is the crime of thinking wrong, the crime of being stupid and the crime of driving with your head up your arse.
All parents see their children as perfect, at least until the teen years. This delusion is God's system for keeping parents from selling the little vermin off for medical experimentation.
God invented sex and we give praise to him at every orgasm by shouting "Oh, my God".
If sex is original sin, Murphyisms are original cynicism.
Cats are like women. If you understand them, they make wonderful companions. If you don't understand them, then they are endless pains in the ass.
Women are often referred to as the 'gentle' sex. I believe this adjective describes the sweetly undetectable method in which women insert a knife in a man's back.
We should not be surprised that adoration, which is a falut causing one to see nothing bad in another, is most often used for the various Gods. It is theorized that this is false adoration and instead a complex expression of fear.
Politics is my second favorite contact sport, right after sex. With either, I know I'm getting screwed.
[Rope] is put about the neck and remains in place one's whole life long. It has been largely superseded by a more complex electrical device worn upon another part of the person; and this is rapidly giving place to an apparatus known as “parole”.