(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

 
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Baptism

Cynical Definitions

n. A "get out of Hell free" card.

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n. Religious intimidation through drowning.

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Cynical Quotations

Traditional Christian ritual require "full submersion" of the Baptismal convert. Reformed sects have selected sprinkling water on the forehead. The former is akin to drowning, and the later a Chinese water torture. In either case, anyone guilty of performing baptisms should be arrested for assault and battery.

— Guy Smith

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