(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

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Cynical Definitions

n. A region populated by professional liars of an order that celebrates dysfunctional behavior.

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Cynical Quotations

It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.

— W.C. Fields

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After two years in Washington, I often long for the realism and sincerity of Hollywood.

— Fred Thompson

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You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.

— Fred Allen

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Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul.

— Marilyn Monroe

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Behind the phony tinsel of Hollywood lies the real tinsel.

— Oscar Levant

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You can't find any true closeness in Hollywood, because everybody does the fake closeness so well.

— Carrie Fisher

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In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

— Rita Rudner

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Hollywood is a place where they place you under contract instead of under observation.

— Walter Winchell

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Small towns in the United States are the repositories of American nostalgia. The big cities are laboratories of American pathology. For pathological nostalgia, we have Hollywood.

— William Ferraiolo

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