(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

 
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Internet

Cynical Definitions

n. Virtual non-reality.

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n. An electronic system for interconnecting computers around the world, and thus providing faster and more reliable ways for crashing them.

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n. A vast suppository of information.

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Cynical Quotations

My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them.

— Penn Jillette

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We've heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know that is not true.

— Robert Wilensky

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The Internet is like having at your disposal the largest library in the world, but a library where someone comes in every night and rearranges the books at random.

— Unknown

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