(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

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Cynical Definitions

v. The art of keeping a large group of people from coughing.

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Cynical Quotations

Acting is the most minor of gifts and not a very high-class way to earn a living. After all, Shirley Temple could do it at the age of four.

— Katharine Hepburn

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God writes a lot of comedy. The trouble is he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.

— Garrison Keillor

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