(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

 
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advice

Cynical Definitions

n. The smallest current coin.

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Cynical Quotations

A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice.

— Nadine Gordimer

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No one wants advice – only corroboration.

— John Steinbeck

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Free advice is worth the price.

— Robert Half

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When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice.

— Marquis de la Grange

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Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.

— Erica Jong

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Solicited advice is fraught with the danger that the advisee may actually follow said advice.

— Charles Gilbert

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The only situation in which advice is advisable is in the occupation of consulting. In that situation, give your best advice, take the money, then run like hell.

— Charles Gilbert

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Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.

— Francois de La Rochefoucauld

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