(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

 
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age

Cynical Definitions

n. That period in life where we overindulge in those vices we still cherish, and revile those we no longer have the strength to commit.

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Cynical Quotations

I think age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

— Tom Stoppard

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Don't complain about growing old – many people don't have that privilege.

— Earl Warren

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Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.

— Unknown

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It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

— Unknown

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Middle age is when your broad mind and narrow waist begin to change places.

— E. Joseph Crossman

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You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.

— Woody Allen

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The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know you'll grow out of it.

— Doris Day

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We seem to believe it is possible to ward off death by following rules of good grooming.

— Don Delillo

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