(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

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Cynical Definitions

n. A prototype human, incapable of feeling, thought or civil behavior, notable for their ability to generate extreme examples of the same traits in adults.

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Cynical Quotations

A soiled baby, with a neglected nose, cannot be conscientiously regarded as a thing of beauty.

— Mark Twain

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All babies look like homicidal poached eggs.

— P.G. Wodehouse

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The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.

— Ronald Reagan

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We all worry about the population explosion, but we don't worry about it at the right time.

— Unknown

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People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one.

— Leo J. Burke

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