(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

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Cynical Definitions

n. An apparatus for thinking, though this is mere speculation. In the American Republican form of government, the brain is so highly prized that it is rewarded by exemption from holding office.

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Cynical Quotations

Aristotle believed that the brain existed merely to cool blood and was not involved in with thinking, which has proven true for certain persons, mainly politicians.

— Derived from Will Cuppy

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The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.

— George Jessel

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Men and women both think like spaghetti. Men’s mental spaghetti is uncooked and runs in straight lines. Women’s is well boiled and point in every direction simultaneously.

— Ralph Seifert

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