(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

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Cynical Definitions

n. The art of extracting money from another person's pocket without resorting to violence.

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Cynical Quotations

The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side.

— Hunter S. Thompson

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He who builds a better mousetrap these days runs into material shortages, patent-infringement suits, work stoppages, collusive bidding, discount discrimination and taxes.

— H. E. Martz

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I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.

— John Cleese

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No one traveling on a business trip would be missed if he failed to arrive.

— Thorstein Veblen

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When you looked at the Republicans, you saw the scum off the top of business. When you looked at the Democrats, you saw the scum off the top of politics. Personally, I prefer business. A businessman will steal from you directly instead of getting the IRS to do it for him.

— P.J. O'Rourke

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Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.

— Tom Robbins

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The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.

— Ambrose Bierce

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