(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

 
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college

Cynical Definitions

n. An institution of higher learning where football is taught, though many students major in alcohol.

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Cynical Quotations

The theoretical broadening which comes from having many humanities subjects on the campus is offset by the general dopiness of the people who study these things.

— Richard Phillips Feynman

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Every man should have a college education in order to show him how little the thing is really worth.

— Elbert Hubbard

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Fathers send their sons to college either because they went to college or because they didn't.

— L. L. Henderson

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Bachelor's degrees make pretty good placemats if you get 'em laminated.

— Jeph Jacques

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That's what college is for - getting as many bad decisions as possible out of the way before you're forced into the real world. I keep a checklist of 'em on the wall in my room.

— Jeph Jacques

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You can send an idiot to college and what you get back is an educated idiot.

— Unknown

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You can send an idiot to college, but all you will get back is an educated idiot.

— Bobby Crouch

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