(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

 
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committee

Cynical Definitions

n. A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

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n. A group of the unwilling, chosen by the unfit, to do the unnecessary.

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n. A group of people who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.

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n. An organism with six or more legs and no brain.

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n. A vehicle with six steering wheels and the engine that has just quit.

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Cynical Quotations

If Columbus had an advisory committee he would probably still be at the dock.

— Arthur Goldberg

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There is no monument dedicated to the memory of a committee.

— Lester J. Pourciau

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Socrates was killed by a committee, so committees are not totally useless.

— John Alejandro King

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A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled.

— Sir Barnett Cocks

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To get something done, a committee should consist of no more than three men, two of whom are absent.

— Robert Copeland

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A committee can make a decision that is dumber than any of its members.

— David Coblitz

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