(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

 
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criminal

Cynical Definitions

n. A guy no different from the rest, except that he got caught.

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n. A person with predatory instincts who has insufficient capital to form a corporation.

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n. The chief factor in the progress of the human race.

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Cynical Quotations

It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly American criminal class except Congress.

— Mark Twain

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There are only three crimes in the world – all others are variants of these. There is the crime of thinking wrong, the crime of being stupid and the crime of driving with your head up your arse.

— Guy Smith

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