(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

 
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critic

Cynical Definitions

n. A person who boasts that they are hard to please, which is a direct result of the fact that nobody tries to please them.

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n. A person who knows the way but can't drive the car.

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n. A group of biases held loosely together by a poor sense of taste.

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Cynical Quotations

No degree of dullness can safeguard a work against the determination of critics to find it fascinating.

— Harold Rosenberg

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Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs.

— Christopher Hampton

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Pay no attention to what the critics say; there has never been set up a statue in honor of a critic.

— Jean Sibelius

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A "critic" is a man who creates nothing and thereby feels qualified to judge the work of creative men. There is logic in this; he is unbiased – he hates all creative people equally.

— Robert Heinlein

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