(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

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Cynical Definitions

int. To perform the functions of mastication and deglutition.

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Cynical Quotations

Eat, drink and be merry – tomorrow you may be in Utah.

— On a shot glass in the Salt Lake City airport

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Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

— Unknown

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Cockroaches and socialites are the only things that can stay up all night and eat anything.

— Herb Caen

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Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.

— Samuel Butler

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