(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

 
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effect

Cynical Definitions

n. The second of two phenomena which always occur together in the same order. The first, called a Cause, is said to generate the other – which is no more sensible than it would be for one who has never seen a dog except in the pursuit of a rabbit to declare the rabbit the cause of a dog.

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n. The undesired consequence of any carefully planned action.

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