(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

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Cynical Definitions

n. The study of the earth's crust, as opposed to humanism, the study of the parasitic infestation of the earth's crust.

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n. A study of the composition of the earth we conduct the morning after the earthquake.

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Cynical Quotations

The geological formations of the globe already noted are catalogued thus: The Primary, or lower one, consists of rocks, bones or mired mules, gas-pipes, miners' tools, antique statues minus the nose, Spanish doubloons and ancestors. The Secondary is largely made up of red worms and moles. The Tertiary comprises railway tracks, patent pavements, grass, snakes, mouldy boots, beer bottles, tomato cans, intoxicated citizens, garbage, anarchists, snap-dogs and fools.

— Ambrose Bierce

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