(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

 
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golf

Cynical Definitions

n. Nature's way of telling you that you should be dead.

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Cynical Quotations

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.

— Will Rogers

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Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

— Dave Barry

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Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.

— Jimmy Demaret

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If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.

— Bob Hope

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The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.

— Will Rogers

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