(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

 
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good

Cynical Definitions

adj. Of marginally superior quality, as in "a morally repugnant politician".

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Cynical Quotations

The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more.

— Woody Allen

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In the United States, doing good has come to be, like patriotism, a favorite device of persons with something to sell.

— H.L. Mencken

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On the whole human beings want to be good, but not too good and not quite all the time.

— George Orwell

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If you believe there is good in everybody, then you haven't met everybody.

— Unknown

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Beware beautiful women, charismatic men, and all mention of "common good".

— William Ferraiolo

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Being a "good citizen" is largely a matter of emulating the least interesting members of one's society.

— William Ferraiolo

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