(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

 
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husband

Cynical Definitions

n. One who having dined, is charged with the cleaning of the plates.

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n. What remains of a lover after the nerve has been removed.

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Cynical Quotations

A husband is like a fire, he goes out when unattended.

— Evan Esar

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One good husband is worth two good wives; for the scarcer things are, the more they are valued.

— Benjamin Franklin

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What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds.

— Cindy Gardner

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American women expect to find in their husbands a perfection that English women only hope to find in their butlers.

— W. Somerset Maugham

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