(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

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Cynical Definitions

n. The tool of an enlightened society for regulating theft.

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Cynical Quotations

A man's respect for law and order exists in precise relationship to the size of his paycheck.

— Adam Clayton Powell Jr.

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The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.

— Frank Zappa

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Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

— Otto von Bismarck

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If my fellow citizens want to go to hell, I will help them. That is my job.

— Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

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Our modern society deserves an income tax code that looks like somebody designed it on purpose.

— William Simon, Former Treasury Secretary

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The problem with any unwritten law is that you don't know where to go to erase it.

— Glaser and Way

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To succeed in the trades, capacity must be shown; in the law, concealment of it will do.

— Mark Twain

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