(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

 
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lie

Cynical Definitions

n. Truth told from a convenient perspective.

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Cynical Quotations

Actions lie louder than words.

— Carolyn Wells

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Never believe anything until it has been officially denied.

— Claud Cockburn

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A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.

— Mark Twain

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It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.

— H.L. Mencken

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In order to preserve your self-respect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat.

— Robert Byrne

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There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.

— Benjamin Disraeli

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Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter because nobody listens.

— Nick Diamos

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Lies are like children: they're hard work, but it's worth it because the future depends on them.

— Pam Davis

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Be careful what lies you make up ... they might be true.

— Cheryl Mannix-Smith

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