(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

 
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marketing

Cynical Definitions

v. Techniques for intimidating or making people feel inadequate, so that they buy your product in order to compensate, often applied by women during courtship.

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Cynical Quotations

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach a man to create an artificial shortage of fish and he will eat steak.

— Jay Leno

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Marketing science now seems to be advancing at a pace cancer research can only envy.

— Unknown

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Market research can establish beyond the shadow of a doubt that the egg is a sad and sorry product and that it obviously will not continue to sell. Because after all, eggs won't stand up by themselves, they roll too easily, are too easily broken, require special packaging, look alike, are difficult to open, won't stack on the shelf.

— Robert Pliskin

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"What if we had a war and nobody came?" Then marketing did a lousy job of promoting the event.

— Unknown

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