(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

 
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old

Cynical Definitions

adj. Discredited by lapse of time and offensive to the popular taste.

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Cynical Quotations

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.

— Unknown

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It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

— Unknown

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The dead might as well try to speak to the living as the old to the young.

— Willa Cather

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Middle age is when your broad mind and narrow waist begin to change places.

— E. Joseph Crossman

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You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.

— Woody Allen

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The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know you'll grow out of it.

— Doris Day

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Don't complain about growing old – many people don't have that privilege.

— Earl Warren

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The young have aspirations that never come to pass, the old have reminiscences of what never happened.

— H.H. Munro

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I don't mind getting old, given that the alternative is to die young.

— Guy Smith

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