(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

 
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opportunity

Cynical Definitions

n. A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.

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Cynical Quotations

The early bird may get the worm, but it's the second mouse that gets the cheese.

— Unknown

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Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.

— Laurence J. Peter

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Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.

— Thomas Edison

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