(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

 
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optimist

Cynical Definitions

n. A person who while falling from a cliff declares "See, I am not injured yet."

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n. One who says the glass is half full, but never asks where the other half is.

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n. A person with a digestive disorder who is incapable of getting nutrition from reality.

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n. A person without experience.

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n. A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.

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Cynical Quotations

An optimist stays up to see the New Year in. A pessimist waits to make sure the old one leaves.

— Bill Vaughan

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The place where optimism most flourishes is the lunatic asylum.

— Havelock Ellis

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The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.

— Irving Caesar

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