(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

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Cynical Definitions

n. Process whereby you remember what you heard but forgot where you heard it.

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Cynical Quotations

Everything of importance has been said before by somebody who did not discover it.

— Alfred North Whitehead

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Don't worry about people stealing an idea. If it's original, you will have to ram it down their throats.

— Howard Aiken

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About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.

— Josh Billings

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