(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

 
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Cynical Definitions

n. A job that mainly involves being yelled at by tiny idiots.

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Cynical Quotations

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.

— Ogden Nash

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Never raise your hand to your children; it leaves your midsection unprotected.

— Robert Orben

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