(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

 
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pessimist

Cynical Definitions

n. An optimist with experience.

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n. A person who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.

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Cynical Quotations

An optimist stays up to see the New Year in. A pessimist waits to make sure the old one leaves.

— Bill Vaughan

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Nobody kills a great idea faster than a bored pessimist.

— Unknown

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Borrow money from pessimists – they don't expect it back.

— Steven Wright

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The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.

— Irving Caesar

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