(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

 
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police

Cynical Definitions

n. An armed force for protection from, and participation in crime.

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Cynical Quotations

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.

— Dudley Moore

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Only high-school wimps and teenage bullies become cops ... and for the very same reason.

— Dave C. Milligan

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We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.

— Jeff Marder

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