(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

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Cynical Definitions

n. The process through which the Internet has evolved from smart people in front of dumb terminals to dumb people in front of smart terminals.

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n. The exchange of one nuisance for another nuisance.

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Cynical Quotations

The chief obstacle to the progress of the human race is the human race.

— Don Marquis

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Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.

— H.L. Mencken

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All progress is based upon a universal innate desire on the part of every organism to live beyond its income.

— Samuel Butler

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Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long.

— Ogden Nash

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Progress isn't made by early risers. It's made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something.

— Robert Heinlein

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