(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

 
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quill

Cynical Definitions

n. An implement of torture yielded by a goose and commonly wielded by an ass.

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Cynical Quotations

This use of the quill is now obsolete, but its modern equivalent, the steel pen, is wielded by the same everlasting Presence.

— Ambrose Bierce

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