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n. The natural, and occasionally unnatural, physical union of two or more plants or animals, for the purpose of procreation, sport, or obtaining a husband.  |
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n. Biological plumbing differentiating one gender from another, except in San Francisco where such differentiation is considered irrelevant, immoral, and unconstitutional. |
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n. The world's favorite participant sport. |
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Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results, but that's not why we do it. — Richard P. Feynman. |
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The best way to get over somebody is to get under somebody. — Lori LaPerle |
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Politics is my second favorite contact sport, right after sex. With either, I know I'm getting screwed. — Guy Smith |
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Alcohol – Helping ugly people have sex since 4,000 B.C. — Bathroom Graffiti |
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Sex is one of the most beautiful, wholesome, and natural things that money can buy. — Steve Martin |
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Children are God's punishment for having sex. And Grandchildren are God's reward for putting up with them. — Ronald Appel |
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Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. — Billy Crystal |
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An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex. — Aldous Huxley |
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Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at. — Jimmy Demaret |
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I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty. — George Burns |
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I know nothing about sex because I was always married. — Zsa Zsa Gabor |
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God invented sex and we give praise to him at every orgasm by shouting "Oh, my God". — Guy Smith |
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Some people purport that oysters are aphrodisiacs. Nonsense. This is a ruse by men to make certain sexual favors more palatable to women by the virtue of comparison. — Guy Smith |
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If sex is original sin, Murphyisms are original cynicism. — Guy Smith |
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How can sex be "original sin" when humans appeared to being doing little else for millions of years. Doesn't sound very original at all. — Guy Smith |
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Love is a matter of chemistry, but sex is a matter of physics. — Unknown |
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