(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

 
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sleep

Cynical Definitions

n. Death rehearsal.

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Cynical Quotations

Sleep is a totally inadequate substitute for caffeine.

— Unknown

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People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one.

— Leo J. Burke

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To achieve the impossible dream, try going to sleep.

— Joan Klempner

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Under even ideal conditions, people have trouble locating their car keys in their pocket, finding their cell phone or playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey. Yet everyone can instantly find and push the snooze button from three feet away, eyes closed, first time, every time.

— Unknown

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