(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

 
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talk

Cynical Definitions

n. An exchange of ideas, opinions, disagreements, threats, declarations of war, ultimatums, terms of surrender, or peace accords. Rewind and repeat.

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tr. The process used by humans to modulate sounds produced from the mouth for the purpose of miscommunication.

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Cynical Quotations

Talk is cheap ... except when Congress speaks.

— Unknown

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The prime purpose of eloquence is to keep other people from talking.

— Louis Vermeil

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You never see a fish on the wall with its mouth shut.

— Unknown

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It is a common delusion that you make things better by talking about them.

— Dame Rose Macaulay

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God burdened man with multiple languages to slow our progress, for only God knows how really ^%((&#* dangerous we are.

— Guy Smith

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Saying what we think gives us a wider conversational range than saying what we know.

— Cullen Hightower

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