(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

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Cynical Definitions

adj. Rearranging of prejudices.

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Cynical Quotations

Anyone who has begun to think places some portion of the world in jeopardy.

— John Dewey

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Aristotle believed that the brain existed merely to cool blood and was not involved in with thinking, which has proven true for certain persons, mainly politicians.

— Derived from Will Cuppy

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A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.

— Jerry Seinfeld

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I work in a think tank in which I am free to say what they pay me to say.

— Sok Sombong

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Ours is the age that is proud of machines that think and suspicious of men who try to.

— H. Mumford Jones

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It is not a bad idea to get in the habit of writing down one's thoughts. It saves one having to bother anyone else with them.

— Isabel Colegate

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If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is doing the thinking.

— Lyndon B. Johnson

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There is no expedient to which a man will not go to avoid the labor of thinking.

— Thomas Edison

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Men and women both think like spaghetti. Men’s mental spaghetti is uncooked and runs in straight lines. Women’s is well boiled and point in every direction simultaneously.

— Ralph Seifert

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