(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

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Cynical Definitions

n. The universal enemy.

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Cynical Quotations

If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.

— Doug Larson

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Time sneaks up on you like a windshield on a bug.

— Jon Lithgow

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Time is that quality of nature which keeps events from happening all at once. Lately it doesn't seem to be working.

— Unknown

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