(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

 
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vote

Cynical Definitions

n. The art of choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable.

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n. The instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.

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n. The common currency of organized insurrection.

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n. The chief tool used by politicians to pick the pockets of the populace and make citizens thank them for the privilege.

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Cynical Quotations

The problem with political jokes is they get elected.

— Henry Cate VII

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The difference between a democracy and a dictatorship is that in a democracy you vote first and take orders later; in a dictatorship you don't have to waste your time voting.

— Charles Bukowski

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It doesn't matter who you vote for . . . the government always gets in.

— Unknown

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Nothing can so alienate a voter from the political system as backing a winning candidate.

— Mark B. Cohen

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A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election.

— Bill Vaughan

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There may be no candidates and measures you want to vote for... But there are certain to be ones you want to vote against. In case of doubt, vote against. By this rule you will rarely go wrong.

If this is too blind for your taste, consult some well-meaning fool (there is always one around) and ask his advice. Then vote the other way. This enables you to be a good citizen (if such is your wish) without spending the enormous amount of time that truly intelligent exercise of the franchise requires.

— Robert Heinlein

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Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half.

— Gore Vidal

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