(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

 
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weather

Cynical Definitions

n. The climate of the hour.

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Cynical Quotations

The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it and wrong too often for us to rely on it.

— Patrick Young

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Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation.

— Kin Hubbard

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Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists?

— Kelvin Throop III

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[Weather is a] permanent topic of conversation among persons whom it does not interest, but who have inherited the tendency to chatter about it from naked arboreal ancestors whom it keenly concerned. The setting up official weather bureaus and their maintenance in mendacity prove that even governments are accessible to suasion by the rude forefathers of the jungle.

— Ambrose Bierce

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