(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

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This section of the Cynical Web Site is devoted to the memory of Captain Ed Murphy, the alleged source of Murphyisms. A Murphyism is the purest statement about the operation of the universe, which is to say that it is designed to frustrate humans at every point in their existence, and proof that God has quite a nasty sense of humor.

In other words, if sex is original sin, then Murphyisms are original cynicism. The original Murphyism expresses the woe which we all understand too well, namely:

Anything that can go wrong, will.

Hard to argue with that.

Computing's 7th law
Adam's Law of Impossible
Ament's First Law of Corporate Survival
Armstrong's 1st Law of Electronic Troubleshooting
Baker's Law of Inanimate Objects
Barth's Law of Segregation
Baxter's Law of Hygienics
Beauchemin's Law of Presentation
Beckhap's Constant of Female Desirability
Beifeld's Law of Attraction
Blaauw's Law of Technology Inertia (a.k.a. The COBOL Syndrome)
Boling's Law
Booker's Law
Boren's Laws of Management
Brien's First Law of Organizational Success
Brook's Software Development Law
Brooks 1st Law of software
Brown's Law of Physical Appearance
Bucy's Law of Accomplishment
Burke's Law of Theatrical Promotion
Buttered Bread Law
Caen's Law of Change
Campbell's Law of Research
Carpenter's Law of Computational Chemistry
Cats' First Law
Cheops' Law
Chisholm's Second Law
Chisholm's Third Law
Churchill's Law of Truth
Clarke's First Law
Clarke's Law of Great Ideas
Cohen's Law of Spin
Commoner's Law of Ecology
Computing's 1st law
Computing's 2nd law
Computing's 3rd law
Computing's 4th law
Computing's 5th law
Computing's 6th law
Computing's 7th law
Computing's 8th law
Computing's 9th law
Cooper's Law of Documentation
Cooper's Law of Laws
Cornuelle's Law of Organizations
Cosby's Law of Advertising
Cybernetic Entomology Law
De la Lastra's Law of Mechanical Precedence
Desgrange's Law of Carburetors
Desgrange's Law of Design
Desgrange's Observation on the Two School's of Thought
Desgrange's Transistor Operation Law
Door Threshold Law
Dot Com Law
Doyle's Law of Taxi Economics
Drew's Law of Highway Biology
Drunkard's Law
Duffy's Law of Destiny
Dunne's Law
Edington's Law of Research
Ehrman's Laws
Eighth Law for Naive Engineers
Einstein's Law of Stupidity vs. Genius
Eleventh Law for Naive Engineers
Ennis' Law of Perpetual Preparation
Essential Laws of Project Management
Explanation of the Epstein-Heisenberg Principle
Farber Law of Politics
Fifth Law for Naive Engineers
Finagle's Rules
Fingle's First Law
Fingle's Fourth Law
Fingle's Second Law
Fingle's Third Law
First Law for Naive Engineers
First Law of Accuracy
First Law of Bicycling
First Law of Comparative Queues
First Law of Debating
First Law of Dentistry
First Law of Electrical Engineering
First Law of Gambling Sociodynamics
First law of Hierarchical Visibility
First law of mechanical engineering
First Law of Revision
First Law of Supply Logistics
First Law of Thought
First Law of Time Warp Mechanics
Fixed Law of Capabilities
Foster's Law
Fourth Law for Naive Engineers
Friday's Law
Futility's Law of Research
Gavin's Law of Bidirectional Software Imbecility
Ginsberg's Law
Glatum's Law
Glib's 1st Law of Reliability
Glib's 2nd Law of Reliability
Glib's 3rd Law of Reliability
Glib's 4th Law of Reliability
Gordon's First Law of Research
Gray's Law of Trivial Dynamic Compression
Gresham's Law
Gummidge's Law of Expert Communications
Gumperson's Law
Hartley's Law of Psychotic Sex
Harvard's Law of Research
Heller's Law of Management Mythology
Hersh's Law of Research
Hoare's Law of Large Problems
Idiots Law
Iles's Law
Immutable Laws of Procrastination
Inverse Law of Authority
Issawi's Law of Reactive Politics and Evil
Issawi's laws of Progress
Jacquin's Law of Congressional Liberty
Jenkinson's Immutable Law
Johnson's Law of Competitive Entertainment
Johnson's Third Law
Jone's Law of Accountability
Juhani's Law of Compromises
Kaa's Law
Kanter's Law
Katz's Law of Testosterone Politics
Kelly's Law
Kerr-Martin Law of Faculty Advisors
Kitman's Law
Klipstein's Eighth Law of Prototyping and Production
Klipstein's Fifth Law of Prototyping and Production
Klipstein's First Law of Prototyping and Production
Klipstein's Fourth Law of Prototyping and Production
Klipstein's Laws of Applied Engineering
Klipstein's Ninth Law of Prototyping and Production
Klipstein's Second Law of Prototyping and Production
Klipstein's Seventh Law of Prototyping and Production
Klipstein's Sixth Law of Prototyping and Production
Klipstein's Tenth Law of Prototyping and Production
Klipstein's Third Law of Prototyping and Production
Last Law of Organizations
Law of Applied Confusion
Law of Biomechanics
Law of Close Encounters
Law of Coffee
Law of Committee Formation
Law of Committee Participation
Law of Financial Morality
Law of Individualism
Law of Logic
Law of Long-term Relationships
Law of Lost
Law of Mechanical Persuasion
Law of Mechanical Repair
Law of Meeting Importance
Law of Organizational Communications
Law of Organizational Regulation
Law of Situational Understanding
Law of Socio-economics
Law of Socio-genetics
Law of Stupidity
Law of Telephone Dialing
Law of the Alibi
Law of the Bath
Law of the Result
Law of the Theater
Law of Useful Inaccuracies
Laws of the Working Class
Levy's Law of Genius
Lewis' Law
Locomotive Law
Lowery's Law
MacIntosh's Law
Maier's Law of Research
Maritime Law
Mathis Law of Superstition
Meskimen's Law of Time
Montaigne's Understanding
Murphy's Constant
Murphy's Law
Murphy's Law of Lockers
Murphy's Law of Research
Murphy's Law of Thermodynamics
Ninth Law for Naive Engineers
O'Brien's Auditing Law
O'Toole's commentary on Murphy's Law
Old and Kahn's Law of Committees
Oliver's Law of Public Speaking
Osborn's Law
Oscillating Law Of Bad
Parker's Law of Beauty
Parkinson's First Law of (dis)organization
Parkinson's First Law of Research
Parkinson's Law of Bureaucratic Efficiency
Parkinson's Law of Group Dimensions
Parkinson's Law of Organization Peerage
Parkinson's Second Law of (dis)organization
Parkinson's Second Law of Research
Parkinson's Third Law of (dis)organization
Patterson's Law of Market Acquisition
Patterson's Laws of Expectation
Peer's Law
Peter's Law of Justification
Peter's Priciple of Organizational Inertia
Peter's Principle of Competence
Pharaoh's Law
Poter's Law of Flack
Primary Law of Analysis
Project Management Law
Pudder's Laws
Putt's Law of Technology Management
Richard's Complementary Laws of Possession
Rosenberg's Law of Impossible Outcomes
Rudin's Law
Rule of Greatness
Scott's First Law
Scott's Second Law
Second Law for Naive Engineers
Second Law of Revision
Second Law of Time Warp Mechanics
Seifert's Law of Theory and Practice
Seventh Law for Naive Engineers
Shanahan's Law of Meeting Dynamics
Simon's Law
Sixth Law for Naive Engineers
Smith's Intelligence Constant Theorem
Smith's Inverse Law of Musical Taste
Smith's Law of Divine Intelligence
Smith's Law of Fiscal Demise
Smith's Law of Fortune
Smith's Law of the Spoken Word
SNAFU's First Law
SNAFU's Second Law
Sodd's Second Law
Software Development Law
Stockmayer's Laws
Sturgeon's Law
Supermarket Law
Tenth Law for Naive Engineers
The 20-80 Law of Software Applications
The Army Law Of Command
The Immutable Law of Air Travel
The Peter Principle
Third Law for Naive Engineers
Tommy Lee's Law of Musical Attraction
Tool Usage Law
Traffic Light Law
Troutman's Laws of Computer Programming
Vail's Law of Organizations
van Braun's Law of Crash Programs
Venturi's Two Laws of Life
Watson's Law
Weiler's Law of Delegation
Weinberg's Law of Immaculate Misconceptions
Weinberg's Law of Software Development
Weinburg's Law of Monday's
Wells law of government
Westheimer's Discovery
Westheimer's Law
White's Law
Wiker's Law
Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
Woman's Law of Maintenance
Workshop Law
Wrigley's Law of Organizational Duplicity
Wyszkowski's Law
Young's Law of Research Funding
Zymurgy's First Law of Systems Dynamics
Zymurgy's Law of Volunteer Labor Relativity